you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
