our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
