Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
