literally had 100 drinks last night.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
