Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
