I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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