Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
