I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
