glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
