ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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