Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
