Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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