hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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