You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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