I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
