If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
