I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
