I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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