I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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