I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
