on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
did i walk over a car last night?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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