Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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