drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
