Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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