The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
