Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
