No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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