hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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