Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
