im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
