ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
