id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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