i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Randomize
