Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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