Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
