but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize