just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
