I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
There are leaves in my underwear?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
