I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
two words...techno handjob
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
God I need to hump something, right now.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
