we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
