you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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