She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
