I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I want to make a zoo with you.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
