You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I came so hard my ears popped.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
