I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
