Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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