His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
