I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
