I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
