I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
