this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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