But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
