the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize