you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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