When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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