Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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