Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize