my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
