East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
