just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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