You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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