I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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