the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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