Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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