is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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