I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
