Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
