Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
