My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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