Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
