There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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