You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
