hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
operation harelip BJ is a go
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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