Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
