I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize