I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
40s are totally the cure
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
