you guys were way drunker than both of me
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You were trust falling into bushes
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
