Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize